As you all know, Yoda was the greatest of Jedi Masters, and he know what he was talking about.
Here is a few tips from him. Read them carefully and learn!
1. Never trust men in dark helmets.
2. It really isn't necessary to be fluent in over 6 million forms of
communication.
3. Get some travel information before heading off to a place that you have
never even heard of.
4. When all else fails....jump!
5. Sometimes, you've just gotta do something that seems totally suicidal.
6. If you are a young hero, nothing can kill you.
7. Always check the background of people you want to get intimately involved
with, they may be your relatives.
8. You may have family members in surprisingly high positions.
9. Before you kill someone make sure they aren't your father.
10. Watch out for Corellian freighters diving out of the sun.
11. Know the difference between power socket and a computer terminal.
12. Never declare that there is "nothing to stop you this time".
13. If your vehicle is being rammed, ducking doesn't help much.
14. THIS one goes here, THAT one goes there!
15. No matter how tasty that hunk of meat looks on that pole on that forest
moon, don't grab it, it's probably a trap.
16. Never stand on a trapdoor leading to a Rancor pit.
17. No disintegrations.
18. If you're running from the law, hide in a building and lock the door.
They may decide to move on to the next one. Otherwise, hope they don't have
blasters.
19. If it's, like, -50 degrees out, and the doors are going to close, come
in out of the cold. The meteor will still be there tomorrow.
20. Take a good look around for bad guys before looking into your
binoculars.
21. Fire on a rebel base *before* they blow up your space station.
22. Don't assume a senior citizen is weak and frail: they may zap you with
lightning bolts.
23. Never, never, never underestimate the power of the Dark Side.
24. You will find many of the truths we cling to depend greatly on our own
point of view.
25. No matter how deeply one falls into darkness, there is always hope for
redemption.
26. Just when you think there is no more hope, alas, there is another.
27. Scoundrels kiss better than nice guys do.
28. Never call someone "scruffy looking".
29. Be careful of your overconfidence, it may really be your weakness.
30. Never judge a "piece of junk" anything from the outside. More often than
not, "she's got it where it counts."
31. Your eyes deceive you, don't trust them.
32. The Bad Guys can't hit the broad side of a barn.
33. Beware of judging someone else's beliefs as just a "hokey religion." You
just may end up eating those words.
34. Never buy anything from a short, hooded, smelly guy.
35. It's never your fault.
36. Never judge anything by its size.
37. Always let a Wookie win.
38. Never cast your lightsaber away, you just might need it.
39. Nothing is ever too small to get away from you (R2 in ANH).
40. Whining about something never helps (Toshi Station in ANH).
41. Taking your droids to a bar will only arouse suspicion (ANH).
42. Don't attempt to handcuff someone larger than you (Chewie in ANH).
43. Always pay off your debts in a hurry.
44. If you're in it just for the money, you might blow your chances with the
princess.
45. It is pointless to argue with family members (Owen in ANH).
46. In negotiations, a thermal detonator can come in handy.
47. Be cautious of "friends" offering refreshments.
48. If some yells out: "It's a trap!" then believe them.
49. DON'T go in any CAVES!
50. Watch your hands when swordfighting.
51. Short green guys with big ears can be more than they seem.
52. The most important part of your spaceship is the hyperdrive.
53. Maybe we SHOULD listen to the protocol droid just this once...
54. Walk in single file to hide your numbers.
55. Trust yourself.
56. Never tell someone the odds!
57. Never allow yourself to become as clumsy as you are stupid.
58. It's not wise to upset a Wookie.
59. Always accept apologies.
60. Don't trust people who appear in Colt .45 commercials. (Lando)
61. Hokey religions just might be a good substitute for a blaster at your
side.
62. Never assume that anything is "all too easy".
63. When you protest about the terms of an agreement, the terms might be
altered further.
64. After spending several months in deep-frost, your vision will be blurry.
65. Size matters not.
66. Try not. Do or do not. There is no try.
67. Mind what you have learned, save you it can.
68. Even if it's a great shot, don't get cocky.
69. Don't intimidate, annoy, or otherwise attack any kind of old man, or his
friends, who has what appears to be a flashlight hanging from his waist.
70. Be prepared for things to go wrong.
71. Never trust a strange computer.
72. You'll always have a bad feeling about something.
73. Bacta cures all.
74. Don't try to make friends via the Death Star com-link.
75. Never proclaim your "moment of triumph" before it actually happens.
76. If "the Force is strong in this one," BACK OFF!!
77. Always change the negative power coupling before going on long space
voyages.
78. Don't shoot out the controls to a bridge BEFORE you cross the bridge.
79. Never tell a teacher who's been teaching for 800 years who to teach and
who not to teach.
80. Don't ever fake left, you'll lose a hand.
81. If you want to keep your friends warm, shove them inside a dead animal!!
82. If a droid sneaks up on you while you're kissing a princess, ignore him.
83. When parking your spaceship, make sure you aren't in the stomach of a
huge worm-like monster.
84. Watch out for those trees.
85. After toppling an altruistic democracy, seizing control of the military,
and establishing yourself as supreme dictator, it's
a good idea to invest in helmets that your troops can see
through.
86. Always duck after throwing someone down a ventilation shaft.
87. If you run a military academy, go over how to deal with small, furry
opponents.
88. Don't jump down garbage chutes.
89. The hard part of a jailbreak is getting out; plan for it.
90. Don't trust people who brag about the speed of their vehicle to be
subtle, and don't trust them with your sister, either.
91. If you teach out of a swamp, you can't expect too much in the way of
tuition.
92. If you're idea of penetrating the enemy's defenses is allowing yourself
to be captured and attacking during your execution, you should probably seek
the advice of someone who's survived longer.
93. Young men should be wary of getting involved with crazy, old hermits who
like to be called "Master."
94. Make sure you always see where your enemy's hands are (Greedo in ANH).
95. Don't use technology you don't understand (Ewoks w/ AT-ST, speeder bike.
96. Never trust strangers to fix your freighter.
97. Never try to rationalize strategy with an Ewok. Next thing you know,
they'll steal a speeder bike. Sure, it distracts the guards, but it takes
away from you sneaking in real quiet-like.
98. Never chain a rebel to you and then take your eyes off her: she may
throttle you.
99. Aim your crippled fighter at the nearest Super Star Destroyer's bridge.
100. Never assume responsibility if it means you're likely to be choked to
death.
101. When your Tauntaun smells something, it's usually a good time to high
tail it outta there.
102. Always convince your astromech droid to not try to restrain green
senior citizens with big ears; they may start banging on you with their
Gimer stick.
103. When someone says they knew your father was a great warrior, it usually
means something important. Take notice: they just gave you one hell of a big
hint about who they are.
104. Don't turn your back on the parent of the kid you're zapping with
lightning bolts.
105. Try not to fly side-by-side when flying through a narrow passage. (ANH
& ESB)
106. When someone tells you to eject, it's probably a good idea.
107. Don't ever leave without giving a goodbye kiss!!!!!
108. Let go of your conscious self and rely on instinct!!!!
109. If a Jedi offers you a bargain, TAKE IT!!
110. Sometimes it is smart to listen to little green Muppets.
111. When you say that you are "ready for anything," actually be ready for
anything (like two guys trying to pick a fight).
112. Don't give into your anger.
113. Grasping at your throat will not stop the choking.
114. Freezing people in liquid carbonite makes a good wall decoration.
115. You should always have a co-pilot that speaks a language that only you
understand.
116. Don't taunt those on the Dark Side of the Force.
117. Sometimes it is better not to apologize or take the blame.
118. Make sure that you can see clearly before firing a blaster.
119. When pulled over by "the man", simply say, "You don't need to see his
identification. These aren't the droids you're looking for. Move along. It
works everytime, I guarantee it!!!
120. If you ever build a throne room, NEVER put a great big shaft leading to
a big nuclear reactor right in the center of the room.
121. Away put your weapon, I mean you no harm.
122. If you have the money, stop telling Jabba and just pay him!
123. Never accept a job that reports directly to a man who wears all black.
124. Buying someone a drink won't stop them from trying to fight you.
125. Pay attention to tremors in the Force, they're usually important.
126. When traveling at intense speeds, don't turn around and look behind
you.
127. If you do not believe, you will always fail.
128. Everything has a weakness; it's just a matter of exploiting it:
Emperor - overconfident, Luke - friends, Death Star - thermal exhaust port,
Stormtroopers - Ewoks, Star Destroyers - bridge deflector shields, Darth
Vader - compassion for his kids, Leia - smugglers, Chewie - dead animals
hanging from trees, Threepio - frail body.
129. If you are ever in a duel, and you get in a tight spot, grab the
nearest pipe and blow smoke in their face-----never fails.
130. Never let Mr. GQ smooth borrow your vehicle, especially after he says
not a scratch.
131. If you see a small blue elephant at a party, you haven't necessarily
drunk too much. (Personal Favorite)
132. When 900 years old you reach, look as good you will not.
133. Beware those heart-to-heart talks with Dad. One of you might end up
losing an appendage.
134. Adventure, excitement, a jedi craves not these things!
135. Try not to look to the future, keep your mind on where you are and what
you are doing.
136. Don't ever give any lip to an old man who has yellow eyes and shoots
lightning out of his own body.
137. Stay on target!!!!
138. Always follow the advice of an aide with long sideburns.
139. Make sure your rocket pack isn't set to go off at the slightest touch
before leaping into battle.
140. No matter how cool a guy's helmet looks, push him off a high place and
he'll scream like a girl.
141. Bury your feelings deep. (They do you credit, but they could be made to
serve the Emperor.)
142. Your insight serves you well.
143. Try to keep a little optimism.
144. Just "hold on" when your pilot tells you to.
145. Remember, your strength *flows* from the Force.
146. You can't escape your destiny.
147. Cool costume + Bare minimum of screen time = Eternal popularity.
148. When chasing X-wings down trenches, look behind you in case their
friends help them.
149. Never scream when a friend evaporates, and you're trying to secretly
make it back to a smuggler's ship.
150. You must do what you feel is right.
151. Watch that crossfire, boys!!!
152. Patience... you must have Patience!
153. Nothing can happen without a Bothan spy dying.
154. You must feel the Force flowing through you. Let go of your feelings.
155. When attempting to launch a rock by twirling it over your head, then
releasing it, be sure you know how to do it right (note to Wicket in ROTJ).
156. Don't use targeting computers: rely on the voice of an old man inside
your head.
157. When fighting a Corellian, 10 to 1 odds aren't in your favor.
158. When your protocol droid tries to tell you there is something wrong with
your YT-1300 freighter, listen to them.
159. When two real scary guys in a bar (who look like they fell out of the
ugly tree and hit EVERY branch on the way down) tell you they don't like
you, RUN!!!!!!!
160. You should always listen to a Jedi master when they tell you something:
they probably know what they are talking about.
161. Corollary to above--Even Jedi can make mistakes sometimes.
162. Pass on what you have learned.
163. If you're struck down now, you'll only become more powerful than can
possibly be imagined!
164. Take an R-2 unit with you...it's better than any Swiss army knife.
165. Everyone "could use a good kiss!"
166. There isn't always time to discuss things in a committee.
167. Sometimes all it takes is one little rock-and a jedi-to bring down a
rancor.
168. If you chose the quick and easy path…you will become an agent of evil.
169. Luminous beings are we… not this crude matter.
170. A Jedi must have the deepest commitment, the most serious mind.
171. Control, control. You must learn control.
172. The Force will be with you…always.
