1
Two aliens land in
Metro Detroit, and they happen to land next to a gas station. So,
the aliens waddle out of their ship and look around. The first
thing they see that resembles a human being is the gas pump. The
two aliens approach and the first one says "Earthling, take
me to your leader!" Of course he gets no response...
The first alien looks at his buddy then addresses the pump again.
"Earthling, I said take me to your leader!" Of course,
still no response... The alien then turns to his buddy and says
"If this Earthling doesn't show me some respect and at least
acknowledge me, I'm going to blast him!"
At that the second alien replies, "OK. I'm just going to
stand down on the next block." The first Alien looks a
little puzzled, but waits for the other to waddle to the next
block. He then addresses the pump a third time. "Earthling
take me to your leader!" Still nothing.
So the alien then pulls out his ray gun and vaporizes the pump...
The gas station goes up in a huge explosion, blowing the alien
all the way down the block to his buddy. He gets up, dusts
himself off, and turns to the second Alien. "If you knew
that was going to happen why didn't you warn me!?"
The second replies "Well, I didn't know exactly *what* was
going to happen. But there's no way I'm gonna' mess with a guy
whose penis hangs to the ground, wraps around his body twice, and
is still long enough to stick in his
left ear!"
2
A panda walks into a
bar, sits down and orders a sandwich. He eats the sandwich, pulls
out a gun and shoots the waiter dead. As the panda stands up to
go, the bartender shouts, "Hey! Where are you going? You
just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!"
The panda yells back at the bartender, "Hey man, I'm a
PANDA! Look it up!" The bartender opens his dictionary and
sees the following definition for panda: "A tree dwelling
marsupial of Asian origin, characterized by distinct black and
white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves."
Senast modifierad: 04 augusti, 1997 av Joakim Norberg