Dumt samtal mellan tabacmannen och två apor på mIRC


#monkey buffer saved on Sat Jul 12 01:31:25 1997
*** Now talking in #monkey
Tabacman> hi
jomama> hi
Tabacman> how are you
jomama> swedith huh?
jomama> why are u on monkey?
Tabacman> yes
Tabacman> why are u
jomama> why
jomama> I'm fine...
Tabacman> i was bored
jomama> because I'm a monkey
jomama> eep eep
Tabacman> i just sat and tried 
 some channel names...
Tabacman> eep eep
jomama> gotcha
Tabacman> where u from
** atdp5-as is now known as Fasa
Fasa> jomama doesn't mean to be 
  rude he's just stupid
Fasa> i mean he's a monkey
Tabacman> ok
Tabacman> eep eep?
jomama> eep
jomama> eep
jomama> oo ahaha
Fasa> eep eep eepeep epp
jomama> Fasa is a moneky also
Fasa> i'm the monkey
Tabacman> are you crazy or 
 something?
jomama> we are all experimental 
  monkies
Tabacman> hehe
jomama> we got a human brain 
  implant
jomama> we can type..but we 
  can't talk
Tabacman> ok
Fasa> we evolved from Republicans
Tabacman> I see
jomama> our vocal chords aren't 
  developed like you humans
jomama> we even have a sense of 
  humor
Fasa> well almost
Tabacman> so you are monkeys
jomama> eep eep
Tabacman> ok
Tabacman> eep eep
Tabacman> where u from
Fasa> CA Berkeley
jomama> CA Berkeley
jomama> in the monkey lab
Fasa> in the monkey lab cave
jomama> Uhhoh...hold on...the 
  trainer is comming
jomama> ahh
jomama> he left
Tabacman> you are crazy
jomama> I thought he was going 
  to give me another shot
jomama> I'm not crazy...just a 
  moneky
jomama> we had this experimental 
  surgery
Tabacman> mmmm
jomama> It made us almost as 
  smart as humans
jomama>  (and smarter than some 
  others)
Fasa> almost, i'm hell of 
  smarter than a human
Tabacman> ok
Fasa> i'm the supreme monkey
Tabacman> ok
Tabacman> sure you are
jomama> No...I'm the super 
  monkey
Tabacman> and im a donkey
jomama> oooh ah ah ah
jomama> no your not
Tabacman> iii iiii
jomama> donkeys dont have 
  opposible thumbs
Tabacman> yes i am
jomama> UNlike us monkeys
Tabacman> yes we do
Tabacman> i have
jomama> You don't belive us...do 
  you
Tabacman> nope
jomama> If only you could see us
jomama> Were MONKEYS!!
Tabacman> i mean yes i do
Fasa> poor guy, donkies suck
jomama> But we can't talk
Tabacman> do you got any pics?
jomama> just stay on the internet
   and type
Fasa> so what's a Tabacman?
jomama> uhh...
jomama> let me get my poloroid
jomama> I'll scan it
jomama> can you hold on a sec?
jomama> I'll have the other 
  monkey take the picture
jomama> Tabacman?
Tabacman> yes
Tabacman> i send a pic of me
jomama> send me one
Tabacman> i got tabac in my face
jomama> hold on
Fasa> its jomamaa
Fasa> i'm on another terminal
Fasa> do you want me to send it 
  to you now?
Fasa> then you can see for 
  yourself that we mean what we 
  say?
Tabacman> ok
Tabacman> who got my pic?
jomama> send it to me
Tabacman> can you see the 
 tabacshavingscum in my face?
Fasa> hold on
jomama> Tabacman; Send me
Tabacman> a guy with tabac is a 
 tabacman
jomama> I'm going to send it to 
  you
Fasa> Tabacman fasa.jpg
jomama> hold on
jomama> here
Fasa> what is "tabac"?
Tabacman> a brand
Tabacman> aftershave and so
Tabacman> naver heard of it?
Fasa> .se?
Fasa> oh, sweden
jomama> So...soon you will see 
  that we are american monkeys
Tabacman> ok
jomama> at a lab in Berkeley
Fasa> never heard of tabac
jomama> why do you still not 
  believe us?
Fasa> how are you related to it
Tabacman> have u heard of tv fur 
 alle?
jomama> take a look
jomama> see that we aren't 
  joking
jomama> that is a picture of me
Tabacman> ive seen the pic now
Tabacman> now i bealive u
jomama> Cool..
jomama> do you believe us now?
jomama> Thank you
Fasa> what did you do?
Fasa> that white stuff allover
Fasa> it looks pretty messy
jomama> Did someone nut on you?
Tabacman> yes
jomama> uhhh
Tabacman> the white stuff is 
 scum
jomama> so...what do you know 
  about monkeys?
Tabacman> u can use when you 
 wank
jomama> I feel smarter by the 
  second
jomama> I just had my shot
Tabacman> i dont now anything 
 about monkeys
jomama> ohh yeah...
jomama> Fasa is getting his shot
jomama> it keeps our body from 
  rejecting the new brain
Tabacman> ok
jomama> Because of the difference
   in blood types
Tabacman> how is CA Berkeley
Fasa> my brain is my own, jomama 
  is a dumb monkey
jomama> hey...I don
Fasa> he needed a transplant
jomama> 't need to hear that
jomama> Fasa isn't a true monkey
jomama> he's a stupid gimp
Tabacman> hehe
Fasa> EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!!!
  !!!!!!!!!
jomama> eough~!!!!!!!!!!!!
Tabacman> you shold try tabac
jomama> noooooooo moooooooooorrrr
  rrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeee
Tabacman> its pretty heavy stuff
jomama> Is tabac a monkey like 
  drug?
Tabacman> yup
Tabacman> you can buy it in 
 different sizes
Tabacman> 50 ml
Fasa> Berkeley is cool
Tabacman> and 75ml
jomama> I don't get out of the 
  lab much
** Fasa changes topic to "jomama 
s a dumb monkey"
Tabacman> are the trainer nice?
** jomama changes topic to "asfd 

** jomama changes topic to 
Monkeys are cool"
** jomama changes topic to "_ "
** Fasa changes topic to "jomama 
s still a dumb monkey"
** Retrieving #monkey channel info...
** Tabacman changes topic to 
tabac is cool"
** Retrieving #monkey channel info...
Fasa> i don't get it
Fasa> what's tabac again?
** Tabacman changes topic to 
monkeys shold try tabac"
** jomama sets mode: +t 
Tabacman> shavingstuff
** jomama changes topic to 
monkey "
Tabacman> u see tabac on the pic
jomama> Dammit
Tabacman> its in my face
jomama> I gotta go on my walk 
  soon
Tabacman> ok
jomama> The trainer is going to 
  beat me with a rubber hose
jomama> because I threw feces at 
  him
Tabacman> is that good or bad
Fasa> jomama is what we call a 
  disturbed monkey
jomama> He doesn't like me 
  because I'm smarer than him
Fasa> he needs a monkey psycholog
  ist
jomama> I had young monkey 
  tramas
jomama> I just get beat by Mr. 
  Joe every day
jomama> He doen't like us
Fasa> more like he traumatizes 
  young monkies
jomama> and won't give us his 
  real name...just Joe
Tabacman> ok
jomama> I can hear him talkingnow
jomama> he is saying how I had 
  better be good
jomama> or else he'll beat me 
  with a rubber hose
Tabacman> are there any playmonke
 y magazines?
** jomama changes topic to 
Watch out for the man with the 
ubber hose"
Fasa> no we prefer human women
Tabacman> ok
jomama> with a human brain
jomama> I am attracted to human 
  women
jomama> not monkeys
Tabacman> have you had sex with 
 any?
jomama> I feel trapped inside 
  moneky body
jomama> No...they run away
Tabacman> heh
jomama> I can't talk to them 
  because I have no voice
jomama> I just go eep eep
Tabacman> have you tried typing 
 the msg
jomama> The only way I can talk 
  is through basic sign language.
  .
jomama> and typing
Tabacman> do that thebn
Fasa> i'm sending a picture of 
  jomama
jomama> Once they see me they 
  run
Tabacman> ok
jomama> the other one was of 
  Fasa
Fasa> he isn't a happy monkey
jomama> Once they see me they 
  runn
jomama> I wanna do it "monkey-sty
  le"
Tabacman> watta sad monkey you 
 are
Fasa> women aren't attracted to 
  jomama
jomama> Yes...I'm sad
Fasa> he's kinda ugly
jomama> I was happy as monkey
jomama> but now I have a human 
  brain
jomama> I barley have a memory
Tabacman> ok
Tabacman> whos brain was it?
jomama> I can't even think 
  without getting a headache
jomama> this damn human brain!!!
jomama> Some wasn't transplanted
jomama> some of the brain that 
  is
jomama> For example some basic 
  memory stayed
Tabacman> ok i see
jomama> what duplicate
Fasa> jomama's brain was vaporize
  d and instantly replaced with 
  an exact duplicate, the questio
  n is:  is he still alive?
jomama> what duplicate
jomama> I am not
Tabacman> try tabac and youll be 
 fine
jomama> I am not
jomama> There is only one of me
jomama> There is only one of me
jomama> shuttup
jomama> shuttup
Fasa> what's Tabac?
jomama> eep eep
Tabacman> scum
Fasa> scum?
 Tabacman kittlar jomama under 
 fötterna
jomama> Damn you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Fasa> what?
 jomama asdf
Fasa> eeep?
 jomama eat a banna
Fasa> eep?
jomama> me eats a banana
 jomama eats a banana
jomama> woop
Fasa> i'm going to beat jomama 
  with a banana
 Tabacman bjuder Fasa på en kall 
 starköl
jomama> nooo
jomama> noooooooooo
Tabacman> jag älskar tabac
jomama> I know where you put the 
  banana yesterday Fasa
Tabacman> hehe
Tabacman> bad fasa
jomama> I don't yanna touch it
Fasa> we don't speak european
jomama> I haven't been out of my 
  lav
jomama> lab
Tabacman> its not so difficult
jomama> Crap...he's comming to 
  beatme
Fasa> jomama lives in a lavatory
jomama> I can tell
jomama> hey
jomama> that's labratory
Fasa> that's laVatory
jomama> I can hear him walking 
  down the hall!!!
jomama> he walking!!
jomama> noooooooooo
jomama> He's comming
jomama> He likes Fasa..he 
  doesn't like me
Fasa> how do you ignore stupid 
  monkies?
Tabacman> have you tried medicati
 on
jomama> He likes Fasa because He 
  games him "favors"
jomama> \\
Fasa> jomama is a fucked up 
  monkey
Tabacman> where di jomama go?
Fasa> i here him eeping
Tabacman> hehe
Fasa> loudly in the background
Tabacman> eep epp
Fasa> he's mumbling about a 
  rubber house
Fasa> or hose
Fasa> he's pretty crazy
Tabacman> dont mean that do you
Fasa> well gotta go
Tabacman> bye
End of #monkey buffer   Sat Jul 12 01:31:25 1997