The "Bad-Joke-O-Rama"

YO' MOMMA JOKES

YO' MOMMA'S SO FAT...

Your mother's so fat she can't even jump to a conlusion.
Your mother's so fat, when she dances the band skips
Your mom's so fat she had her ears pierced by harpoon.
Your mother's so fat her clothes have stretch marks.
Your mother's so fat she needs a watch on both arms because she covers two time zones.
Your mom's so fat, she has two stomaches...one for meats and one for vegetables
Your mother's so fat she needs a hula hoop to keep up her socks.
Your mother's so fat when she goes to a restaurant she gets an estimate.
Your mother's so fat, she sets off car alarms when she runs.
Your mother's so fat, when they used her underwear for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.
Your mother's so fat, when she goes to a restaurant she looks at the menu and says, OK!
Your mom's so big, she plays Tiddly Winks with manhole covers.
Your mom's so big she plays marbles with planets.
Your mom's so big she tripped on the Alps and burned her lips on the sun.
Your mom's so big she has to wear a sock on each toe.
Your mom's so fat, her belt size is equator.
Your mom's so fat, they used the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping.
Your mother's so fat if she fell out of a tree she'd go straight to hell.
Your mother's so fat, when she fell in love she broke it.
Your mother's so fat, every time she puts an apple in her mouth people try to roast her.
Your mother's so fat, when she turns around they throw her a welcome back party.
Your mother's so fat she uses a satellite dish as a diaphragm.
Your mother's so fat that she ate your chicken pox.
Your mother's so fat, she had her baby pictures taken by satellite
Your mother's so fat, the back of her neck looks like a pack of franks.
Your mother's so fat, she sat on four quarters and made a dollar.
Your mother's so fat she was baptized in Sea World.
Your mother is so fat I went to wake her up and she was stuck in a dream.
Your mother's so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a bugger out of Washington's nose.
Your mother's so fat, she went to the movies and sat next to everyone.
Your mother's so fat, she on a light diet...as soon as it gets light out she starts eating.
Your mother's so fat she sells shade in the summer.
Your mother's so fat they stamped GoodYear on her ass and put her on the runway!
Your mom's so big she needs a building permit for her girdle.
Your mother's so fat she sat on a quarter and got change.
Your mother's head is so big, it shows up on radar.
Your mom's so fat, when she went to the beach, she's the only one who got a tan.
Your mother's so fat she uses a VCR as a beeper.
Your mother's so fat your bathtub has stretch marks.
Your mom's so fat she's on both sides of your family.
Your mother's so fat they use her underwear for bungee-jumping.
Your mother's so fat her nick name is Shamu.
Your mom's so fat she got a run in her jeans.
Your mother's so fat she's like the Bermuda Traingle; when kids run around her they get lost.
Your mother's so fat, she irons her clothed in the driveway.
Your mom's so fat she sells shade in the summer.
Your mother's so fat she has to take off her pants to go into her pockets.
Your mother's so fat, she left the house with high-heels and came back with fip-flops.
Your mother's so fat, when I got on top of her my ears popped.
Your mother's so fat, she can't reach her back pocket.
Your mother's so fat, she influences the tides.
Your mother's so fat, when I tried to drive around her, I ran out of gas.
Your mother's so fat, when she fell over, she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up again.
Your mother's so fat, when she was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.
Your mother's so fat, she has her own area code.
Your mother's so fat, she can sit on a rock and make it a diamond.
Your mom's so big, you need a trucker's license to ride her.
Your mother's so fat, the highway patrol made her wear a Caution, Wide Turns sign.
Your mother's so fat, they got her face on the Crisco can.
Your mother's butt is so big, they use her girdle as a hammock.
Your mother's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said, Sorry, we don't do livestock.
Your mother's so fat NASA orbits satellites around her.
Your mother's so big, when she wears a yellow dress kids try to board her at the corner.
Your mother's so fat, they tax her breasts as carry-on luggage.
Your mother's so fat, she stepped on a scale and it said, One at a time please!
Your mother's so fat, she broke her leg and gravy poured out.
Your mother's so fat, she puts on tampons with a bazooka.
Your mother's so fat, when she takes a shower her feet don't get wet.
Your mom's so fat, when she bends over we lose an hour of daylight.
Your mother's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.
Your mother's so fat her neck looks like a pair of hotdogs.
Your mother's so fat, Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction.
Your mother's so fat, every time she walks in high heels, she strikes oil.
Your mother's so fat, her legs look like spoiled milk; white and chunky.
Your mother's so fat, when she wears a yellow raincoat, people yell Taxi!
Your mother's butt is so big, when you put your ear up to it, you can hear the ocean
Your mother's so fat, she fell and made the Grand Canyon.
Your mother's so fat, the AIDS quilt can't cover her.
Your mother's so fat, whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in.
Your mom's so fat, when her beeper went off, they thought she was backing up.
Your mother's so fat, she has more chins than the Hong Kong phone book.
Your mom's so fat, her nickname is DAMN!
Your mother's so fat she puts on her lipstick with a paint-roller.
Yout mother's so fat, I had to take a train and two buses just to get on her good side.
Your mom's so fat, her high school year book picture was an aerial picture.

YO MOMMA'S SO STUPID...

Your mother's so stupid, she sold her car for gas money.
Your mom's so stupid she can't pass a blood test.
Your mother's so dumb she thought Beirut was a famous home run hitter.
Your mother's so dumb she put Visine on black-eyed peas.
Your mother's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead, because she wanted to make up her mind.
Your mother's so stupid, she called Dan Quayle for a spell check.
Your mom's so dumb she stole free cheese.
Your mother's so dumb she failed Romper Room.
Your mother's so dumb she asked for a price check at the 99 cent store.
Your mother's so stupid, on the job application where it said "sex", she put "Twice a week."
Your mother's so stupid she thought a lawsuit was something you wear to court.
Your mom's so dumb if she spoke her mind she'd be speechless.
Your mother's so dumb they had to burn down the school to get her out of the fifth grade.
Your mother's so dumb she went to the movies and the sign said "Under 17 not admitted"...so she came back with 18 friends.
Your mother's so stupid that when I asked her to buy me a color TV she asked What color?
Your mom's so dumb, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept.
Your mom's so stupid, she saw a "Wet Floor" sign, so she did.
Your mother's so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super-Bowl.
Your mom's so dumb she tried to send mail with food stamps.
Your mom's so stupid, she climbed over a glass wall to see what was on the other side.
Your mother's so stupid that she hops the turnstyle when she gets OFF the train.
Your mother's so stupid, she tripped over a cordless phone.
Your mother's so dumb she thinks a quarter back is a refund.
Your mother's so dumb she went to the library to get book of matches.
Your mother's so dumb it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
Your mother's so dumb she wouldn't get on a Greyhound bus 'cause she's allergic to dogs.
Your mother's so dumb, she got locked in a supermarket overnight and died of starvation.
Your mother's so dumb, she went cordless bungee-jumping.
Your mother's so stupid, she got diarrhea and thought she was melting.
Your mother's so dumb, on her birthday she lit a match to see if she blew out all the candles.
Your mother's so dumb she thought racism was an olympic event.
Your mother's so dumb she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train.
Your mother's so dumb, she thought a hot meal was stolen food.
Your mother's so dumb she tried to drown herself in a carpool.
Your mom's so dumb, she took the Pepsi challenge, and chose Jiff.
Your mother's so dumb, when the sign aid Don't Walk, she froze and got hit by a bus.
Your mother's so stupid, she ordered a cheeseburger without the cheese.
Your mother's so dumb, she dialed information for the number for 911.
Your mom's so dumb, on the job application where it said sign here, she wrote Aquarius.
Your mother's so dumb she tried to drown a fish.
Your mother's so dumb she tried to put Resce's Pieces back together.
Your mother's so stupid she bought a solar powered flashlight.
Your mother's so stupid, she went to drug rehab because she thought she was hooked on phonics.
Your mother's so dumb she put ice cubes in the freezer to keep the refrigerator cold.
Your mother's so stupid she sent me a fax with a stamp on it.

YO' MOMMA'S SO IMPAIRED...

Your mother only has two fingers and she's up there talking about Gimme Five!
Your mother's booty is so big that if you tell her to haul ass she has to make two trips.
Your mother has one tooth in the back of her mouth and they call her Uno.
Your mom has no arms or legs and when she goes swimming they call her Bob
Your mother only has one ear and she's always trying to hear two sides of the story.
Your mother's so short she has to cuff her panties.
Your mom only has one leg, and she preaches to everybody about gettin' on the good foot.
Your mother's so skinny her nipples are on her back.
Your mother ain't got no legs, still trying to run for president.
Your mom has no fingers talking 'bout I'm gonna press charges!
Your mother got one leg shorter than the other and they call her Hip-Hop!
Your mother's so short you can see her feet on her drivers license.
Your mother has no neck and they call her Head & Shoulders.
Your mothers underarms are so hairy, it looks like she has buckwheat in a headlock.
Your mother's so short she can sit on a dime and swing her legs.
Your mother's nose is so big she makes Pinochio look like a cat.
Your mother's feet are so big her shoes need license plates.
Your mother ain't got no legs and thinks she's running things!
Your mother got a broomstick for a leg and they call her Sweepee.
Your mother's ass is so big, when she walks it looks like two puppies fighting.
Your mother's nose is so big, you can go bowling with her boogers.
Your mother's nose is so big, she can smell farts on the way.
Your mother's so short, she does backflips under the bed.
Your mother's so tall, she trippied in Michigan and hit her head in Florida.
Your mom's so skinny, she can peep through the keyhole with both eyes.
Your mother only has one hand and you bought her a Clapper.

YO' MOMMA'S SO MISCELLANOEUS...

Your mother's so old she farts dust.
Your mother's in a wheelchair talking about Stop pushing me around!
Your mom's so dumb she got stabbed at a shootout.
Your mother's gums are so black she spits YooHoo.
Your mother has three teeth; one in her mouth and two in her pocket.
Your mother's hair is so nappy she needs pain killers to comb it.
Your mother's got so many teeth missing, it looks like her tongue is in jail.
Your mother's so dumb she tripped over a cordless phone.
Your mom's so dumb she took an umbrella to see "Purple Rain"
Your mother's house is so dirty, she has to wipe her feet before she goes outside
Your mother's so poor, she got a tumble weed for a Christmas tree.
Your mother's pussy is like the Chuck Wagon theme song..."Come and get it!"
Your mother's so poor, I saw her wrestle a squirrel for a peanut.
Your mother's missing a finger and can't count past 9.
Your mother's got a wooden leg with branches.
Your mother's teeth are so yellow, when she smiles, cars yield.
Your mom's got more balls than a Christmas tree.
Your mom has a glass eye with a fish in it.
Your mother's mouth is so big she speaks in surround sound.
Your mom's so old, when I asked her for gum, she pulled out her dentures.
Your mother has everything a man can want; muscles, a big chest, and a beard.
Your mother's car is so old, they stole her Club and left the car.
Your mother's so stupid, I told her it was chilly outside so she ran out with a spoon.
Your mother's like a Merry-Go-Round; everyone gets a ride.
Your mother's so cross-eyed, when she has sex she thinks she's in a threesome.
Your mother's so stupid, when I told her to make up her mind she used lipstick on her forehead.
Your mother head is so wrinkled, she has to screw on her hat.
Your mother's so dumb she snuck on a bus and paid to get off.
Your mother's so nasty, the fishery pays her to leave.
Your mother's like a TV; a two-year-old can turn her on.
Your mother has one tooth in the middle of her mouth and they call her Chopper.
Your mother's so bald, when she take a shower she gets brainwashed.
Your mother has more feet then a yard.
Your mother got an Afro with a chin strap.
Your mother's so slutty, she had her own "Hands Across Her Ass" charity drive.
Your mother's so fat. That's it, no joke, she's just fat.
Your mother's so stupid she sat in a tree because she wanted to be a branch manager.
Your mom's so fat she has more nooks and cranies than Thomas's English Muffins.
Your mother has two wooden legs and one is backwards.
Your mother's so dumb she tried to kill Cap'n Crunch so she could be a serial killer.
Your mother got hit on the head with a loaf of bread and started to Wonder.
Your mother's so fat, after sex she smokes turkeys.
Your mother's afro is so big that when she gets in your car the windows get tinted.

YO' MOMMA'S SO OLD...

Your mother's so old, when she was in school there was no history class.
Your mother's so old, dinosaurs made cave drawings of her.
Your mother's so old, her birth certificate says says "Expired" on it.
Your mom's so old, when she gave birth you came out with dentures.
Your mother's so old, her tits give powdered milk.
Your mother's so old her tits are a 34-long.
Your mother's so old, she dreams reruns.
Your mother's so old, they have to call the fire department when you light the candles on her cake.
Your mother's so old her social security number is 1.
Your mom's so old she remembers the Grand Canyon when it was a hidden valley.
Your mother's so old, she went to an antique store and they tagged her.
Yout mother's so old, I told her to act her age and she died.
Your mother's so old, her birthday expired.
Your mother's so old that her Social Security card is in Roman numerals.

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