An elementary school teacher asked her class to tell a story that had a moral to hit. A little boy raised his hand and told a story about a farmer who took his eggs to market. The farmer put all of the eggs in one crate and unfortunately when his truck hit a large bump in the road, the crate fell of the back ot the truck and all of the eggs were broken. The moral to the story: Don't put all of your eggs in one basket.

   A little girl then raised her hand and told a story about another farmer who made his financial projections based of the numbers of chickens that he thought he was going to have. Unfortunately, not all of the eggs hatched so he didn't have as many chickens as he thought. All of his projections went awry. Moral to the story: Don't count your chickens before the eggs are hatched.

  Next a little boy raised his hand and told a story about his uncle Ted, who was a fighter pilot during The Vietnam war. While flying behind enemy lines, Ted's plane was shot down. Before ejecting from the cockpit, Ted was able to grab a machine gun, a machete and a six-pack of beer. While descending to earth in his parachute, Ted drank the six-pack. After hitting the ground, Ted found himself surrounded by 100 North Vietnamese soldiers. He killed the first 70 with the machine gun before he ran out of bullets. He hacked the next to death with the machete before the blade broke. He killed the last 10 with his bare hands. Somewhat horrified, the teacher asked the student what could possibly be the moral to this story, to which the little boy replied:

" Don't fuck with my Uncle Ted when he's drunk.