On this page i will keep pic's, stories, quotes and jokes that i think are 
funny. Well as im busy updating the rest of my page i'll just throw in a few 
quotes that i like. Or you can go to my collection of lame frog jokes.
Have fun!



* Everyone is entitled to my opinion. 
  -- unknown

* If "con" is the opposite of "pro", what is the opposite of "progress" ? 
  -- unknown

* War doesn't determine who is right, just who is left.
  -- unknown

* Whose cruel idea was it for the word "lisp" to have an "s" in it ?
  -- unknown

* If swimming is so good for your figure, how do you explain whales?
  -- unknown

* The Honeymoon is over when he phones that he'll be late for
  supper, and she's already left a note that it's in the refrigerator.
  -- unknown

* If you don't ask, they can't say no.
  -- Rick Wiedman

* Success is getting what you want, but happiness is wanting
  what you get.
  -- W.P. Kinsella

* You never know what you can get away with unless you try.
  -- Colin Powell

* If you don't care where you are, then you are not lost
  -- Message on the U of R's Student Union BBS

* Are you happy? Then notify your face!
  -- Unknown

* I have come to the conclusion that one useless man
  is called a disgrace, that two are called a law firm and
  three or more become a congress...
  -- John Adams - as quoted in the movie "1776" 

* It's okay to talk to yourself, and it's okay to 
  answer yourself; but if you talk to your self and
  answer yourself, and then say "huh?", then you've 
  got a problem!
  -- Rick Wiedman

* I can picture a perfect world, a world without
  hate, a world without violence. And I can picture
  us attacking that world because they'd never
  expect it.
  -- Unknown

* I used to have a dog. I named him Stay. When he
  was little, I used to confuse him. "Come here,
  Stay. Come here, Stay." He went insane. Now he
  just ignores me and keeps licking himself.
  -- Steven Wright

* Man who keep feet firmly on ground have
  trouble putting on pants!
  -- Confucious

* Not only is he ambidextrous, but he can throw
  with either hand.
  -- Duffy Daugherty, sports analyst

* Please provide the date of your death.
  -- from an IRS letter

* Men, I want you just thinking of one word all
  season. One word and one word only: Super Bowl.
  -- Bill Peterson, football coach

* If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure.
  -- Dan Quayle

* If you're killed, you've lost a very important part
  of your life.
  -- Brooke Shields

* It's all fun and games until someone loses an eye.
  Then, it's still fun, you just can't see.
  -- Nick Kobliska

* Better to be thought a fool, than to open your mouth
  and remove all doubt.
  -- Mark Twain

* Tourist, Rincewind decided, meant "idiot".
  -- Terry Pratchett, The Colour of Magic

* Let's just say that if complete and utter chaos was lightning,
  he'd be the sort to stand on a hilltop in a thunderstorm wearing
  wet copper armour and shouting 'All gods are bastards'. 
  (Rincewind discussing Twoflower)
  -- Terry Pratchett, The Colour of Magic

* For animals, the entire universe has been neatly divided into things
  to (a) mate with, (b) eat, (c) run away from, and (d) rocks.
  -- (Terry Pratchett, Equal Rites)

* "I'm not going to ride on a magic carpet!" he hissed.
  "I'm afraid of grounds."
  "You mean heights," said Conina. "And stop being silly."
  "I know what I mean! It's the grounds that kill you!"
  -- (Terry Pratchett, Sourcery)

* The duke had a mind that ticked like a clock and, like a clock,
  it regularly went cuckoo.
  -- (Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters)

* "Have another drink, not-Corporal Nobby?" said Sergeant Colon unsteadily.
  "I do not mind if I do, not-Sgt Colon," said Nobby.
  (The joys of working undercover)
  -- Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!

* "Right, you bastards, you're... you're geography"
  -- (Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!)

* - "There's a door"
  - "Where does it go?"
  - "It stays where it is, I think."
  -- (Terry Pratchett, Eric)

* "Students?" barked the Archchancellor.
  "Yes, Master. You know? They're the thinner ones with the pale faces? 
  Because we're a university? They come with the
  whole thing, like rats --"
  -- (Terry Pratchett, Moving Pictures)

* "What is this thing, anyway?" said the Dean, inspecting the implement in his hands. 
  "It's called a shovel," said the Senior Wrangler. "I've seen the gardeners use them. 
  You stick the sharp end in the ground. Then it gets a bit technical."
  -- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

* He'd never realized that, deep down inside, what he really wanted to do was make things
  go splat.
  -- (Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man)

* Only dead fish go with the current. 
  -- (unknown)

* I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead. 
  -- unknown

* If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished 
  -- unknown

* Budget: A method for going broke methodically. 
  -- unknown

* A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking. 
  -- unknown

* I'd give my right arm to be ambidexterous! 
  -- unknown

* I've told you millions of times, not to exagerate! 
  -- unknown

* The trouble with being punctual is that nobody's there to appreciate it.
  -- Franklin P. Jones

* I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because
  I hate plants. 
  -- A. Whitney Brown

* What can you say about a society that says God is dead and Elvis is alive?
  -- Irv Kupcinet

* You enemy is never a villain in his own eyes. Keep this in mind, it may offer
  a way to make him your friend. If not, you can kill him without hate--and quickly.
  -- Lazarus Long

* It doesn't matter what temperature the room is; it's always room-temperature. 
  -- Steven Wright

* If you can't make it good, at least make it look good.
  -- Bill Gates

* The word "genius" isn't applicable in football. A genius is a guy like Norman
  Einstein.
  --Joe Theisman, NFL football quarterback and sports analyst

* Today is the last day of some of your life.
  -- Unknown

* Death is a once in a lifetime experience.
  -- Unknown

* When you see a light at the end of the tunnel, make sure it does not get any brighter. It could just be
  the headlight of an oncoming train.
  -- Unknown

* Life is like a package from the Unabomber... ya never know what your gonna get
  -- Unknown