In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:   On Sears hair dryer: - Do not use while sleeping. On a bag of Fritos: - You could be a winner!  No purchase necessary.  Details inside. On a bar of Dial soap: - Directions:  Use like regular soap. Some Swann frozen dinners: - Serving suggestion: Defrost. On a hotel-provided shower cap in a box: - Fits one head. On Tesco's Tiramisu desert: - Do not turn upside down. (Printed on the bottom of the box.) On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: - Product will be hot after heating. On packaging for a Rowenta Iron: - Do not iron clothes on body. On Boot's Children's Cough Medicine: - Do not drive car or operate machinery On Nytol (a sleep aid): - Warning: may cause drowsiness. On a Korean kitchen knife: - Warning keep out of children. On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights: - For indoor or outdoor use only. On a Japanese food processor: - Not to be used for the other use. On Sainsbury's Peanuts: - Warning: contains nuts. On an American Airlines packet of nuts: - Instructions: open packet, eat nuts. ( MY PERSONAL FAVORITE ) On a Swedish chainsaw: - Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands .