Q: Why don't blonde guts tall out of her twat when she stands?

A: Because the vacuum in her head keeps them in place.

Q. What's the difference between having sex with a blonde and eating Jell-O?

A: Jell-O wiggles when you eat it.

Q: What do you get when you cross a blonde and a lawyer?

A1: I don't know, there are some things even a blonde won't do.

A2: Something that when it gives you a blow-job, it won't

        stop until it gets blood.

Q: Why was the blonde wearing her sunglasses?

A: She was having sunny periods.

Q: What two things in the air can get a blonde pregnant?

A: Her feet!

Q: How can you tell when a blonde is wearing pantyhose?

A: When she farts, her knees bag.

Q: What's the disease that paralyses blondes below the waist?

A: Marriage.

Q: How is a blonde like a frying pan?

A: You have to get them hot before you put in the meat.

Q: How do you describe the perfect blonde?

A: 3 feet tall, no teeth, and a flat head to rest your beer on.

Q: How do you confuse a blonde?

A: You don't. They're born that way.

Q: How do you paralyse a blonde from the neck down?

A: Marry her.

Q. How did the blonde die drinking milk?

A: The cow fell on her.

Q: How did the blonde burn her nose?

A: Bobbing for french fries.

Q: How can you tell if a blonde writes mysteries?

A: She has a chequebook.

Q: How can you tell when a FAX has been sent from a blonde?